The Zombieslayer

I won’t watch the Miss America pageant with women. Refuse to. Done it before. I’d see 50 beautiful girls and the women I’d watch it with would take turns cutting them to shreds. They’ll find every last flaw, flaws that guys don’t even notice, flaws guys overlook.

“All men are assholes.”

“I hate men!”

“Guys are all a bunch of pigs. Every one of them.”

I hear this all the time. It’s commonplace. Men are to blame for everything wrong with the world. Men are also to blame for every single one of a woman’s insecurities.

I’ve given former lovers hundreds of compliments in hundreds of different ways. They fall on deaf ears. Women only remember the one negative thing some guy they never even met said and it will haunt them forever and no amount of shared awe for them will counteract it. It’s futile. Forget it.

But what really gets me is male misogyny in this country can’t even hold a candle to what women say to each other. They’re ruthless. They’re brutal. Of course, it’s still men’s faults.

“Skinny girls are for wimps”

Not joking, but I saw this on some lady’s blog. She had a button that flashed this.

I lost a co-worker a few months ago. It took her over two years of painful agony. I saw her a month before she died. It was sad to see her like that. 85 pounds. A month later, she was dead.

Cancer.

Is her widow a wimp?

A friend’s daughter never drank, smoke, did illegal drugs. Nice girl, good student. Got cancer too. Went through Chemo twice now. Thankfully, she’ll make it. She’s thin now. Anyone who dates her is a wimp?

Now know two people who have Crohn’s Disease. As with cancer, wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Their spouses wimps?

A dear friend of mine grew up in this thing called poverty. Mother was a co-dependent loser and mother’s boyfriend spent their welfare on drugs. Kids never ate. She’s gaining weight now, but used to be rail thin. Is her boyfriend a wimp? Probably shouldn’t call him that considering he’s a former amateur MMA fighter.

Somalian women come tall and thin. That’s just how they come. I’d love to see this blogger go to Somalia and call Somalian men wimps for marrying Somalian women. See how that goes over.

Women on women hate

Women on women hate is pathetic. I don’t get it. Look at women’s magazines. Look at Hustler. Hustler has real women. Women’s magazines on the other hand, come on. And somehow, men are to blame for that?

You’ve seen this scene before. Angela comes around to her group of friends and they all smile and say hi. The minute she leaves, they rip into her, exposing every weakness and flaw. But somehow of course, there’s a guy pulling their strings, right? Women on women hate won’t exist without men, right?

If all the men would disappear from the world, I guarantee you, there will still be anorexia, bulimia, and every other disorder blamed on men. I’m not blaming the victim here. I’m just calling a spade a spade.

The average guy is a nice guy, warm, friendly, and actually likes women. He’ll be taken for granted though. They only remember the asshole.

You know how I feel about the Republicrats.  Or sometimes I call them the Democans.  Granted that they get all the media attention, I decided to take the responsibility of bringing to  you Third Party candidates.  Bob Barr will probably be the Libertarian.  I don’t know who the Green person is yet and don’t know if there will even be a Reform candidate.  If so, I’ll bring them too.

Bob Barr’s positions:

Voted for the Patriot Act, but severely regrets it and is now one of its biggest opponents.

One of the four founders of the American Freedom Agenda, an organization that is highly critical of the Bush Administrations’ attack on Freedom and Privacy.  Ron Paul, the guy I was supporting, was one of the other four.

In Congress, Barr was a strong supporter of the War on Drugs, but he’s since changed his stance and considers Drugs a State’s issue, not a Federal issue.  He’s also now a lobbyist for the Marijuana Policy Project, which is an organization for either decriminalization or outright legalization (and taxation) of marijuana.

Is for cutting taxes, for which I give him a huge thumbs up.  You want the economy to take off? Cut taxes.  It worked for JFK.

Is anti-abortion, for which I give a thumbs down.  Abortion is a medical procedure, and something that should be decided by the States, not the Federal government.

Is highly pro-gun, for which I give a thumbs up.

In Congress, it was him who proposed the Pentagon ban the practice of Wicca in the military.  Dumb move, because it’s a violation of the First Amendment.  I haven’t heard if he regrets that or not.

Now is a lobbyist for the ACLU.

Has become a vocal opponent of Bush’s wiretapping.  He said the following:

“What’s wrong with it is several-fold. One, it’s bad policy for our government to be spying on American citizens through the National Security Agency. Secondly, it’s bad to be spying on Americans without court oversight. And thirdly, it’s bad to be spying on Americans apparently in violation of federal laws against doing it without court order.”

Will I vote for him? Don’t know yet.  I don’t like how he has flip-flopped on several key issues.  He is however better on Freedom and Privacy issues than any of the three Republicrat ass clowns still in the race (which isn’t saying much at all).  I will continue to bring information on Third Party candidates since the media won’t.  Someone has to do it.

No. Queen is not my favorite band. They’re not even in my top 20 of all-time.

However, I will say this. When they’re good, they’re really good.

Queen, for all their records, had only two that are listenable the whole way through - Night At The Opera, and Innuendo. Sadly, shortly after Innuendo was released, Freddie Mercury died.

His death didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks though because I had known about it for several years before he died. There were rumors at the time that Rob Halford, Freddie Mercury, and Perry Ferrell all had AIDS.

I dismissed the Halford and Ferrell rumors as rumors, but knew the one about Mercury was true. He had stopped touring for years and people actually had the decency to stop taking pictures of him, for he looked horrible. In his last year, I heard he rarely left his surroundings.

As for their music, when they’re good, they’re really good. Night At The Opera is without a doubt one of the best albums of all-time. I remember in the late 80s and early 90s, I’d be listening to the album and there was always some ass clown who would say “how could you listen to that? It’s just so weird!” Then after that stupid Wayne’s World movie came out, those same ass clowns would be saying “oh! It’s that song from Wayne’s World! I love that song!” You see why us pretentious critics sometimes look down on people’s taste in music?

The movie Highlander was everything that was right about the 80s. You had a hero that was genuinely cool, not some “reluctant hero” from the 90s who’s cynical and selfish, and only becomes a hero out of necessity. (As you can probably tell, I hated the 90s and everything about it).

Queen did the soundtrack and the songs on it were some of the best movie songs ever written. The song Who Wants To Live Forever? builds up into a huge crescendo, then Freddie Mercury tragically utters “our love must die.” It’s like you finally bed that person of your dreams and right after climaxing together, that person turns to you and says “it’s not going to work.”

Queen and Freddie Mercury have a way of pounding your heartstrings like no other band before them. Their music is timeless, and transcends perfectly into whatever time period you play them. They are without labels, and it’s a good thing. They’ve played literally dozens of types of music in their career.

I’m well-aware that they’ve reformed with a new singer, but just have no desire to see them in their current form. I’m sure the guy’s a good guy and a good fit, but I’d rather not have my memories of this band altered in any way. You simply don’t tamper with something that works.

So here’s to Queen, and the memory of Freddie Mercury. May he live forever.

Lots of people like to bitch, but when asked what they’d do if they were running this country, they’d say “umm…”

This is what I’d do if I were running this country:

1) Work on the energy crisis now. Not later, but now. People talk about getting out of Iraq, but have no solution for the oil crisis. Well folks, if we don’t have an alternative, we have no choice. You want us out of Iraq? Here’s what I’d do.

2) That said, pull us out of Iraq. HUGE waste of both American lives and money. It’s the main cause of our financial problems right now.

3) Speaking of economics, enact a huge tariff on Chinese goods. You want cheap crap? Fine. Buy it from Mexico instead. Let’s build a Middle-Class in Mexico. While China has nukes pointed at us, screw China.

4) All children will have to learn all 10 Bill of Rights, the Preamble to the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence. It’s time we started teaching Civics again. I’m tired of talking to Americans about Freedom and they have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m tired of explaining the difference between a Right and a Privilege, and explaining that Rights are something you’re born with, not something the government gives you.

5) Get rid of the Patriot Act. Legalize pot. Legalize prostitution. Get rid of 99% of gun laws. And start looking at other laws that encroach on our Freedoms and get rid of them. I’m sure I can find hundreds. Actually, screw it. I’ll just hire a bunch of Libertarians to look over our laws and see what we can do away with. We got too many freaking laws in this country. I’m tired of people looking over my shoulder and telling me I can’t do this or can’t do that. Buzz off.

6) Cut government spending. I’ll look at ways we can cut spending because whether you like it or not, we need to balance the budget. If Bill Clinton could do it, so can I.

That’s enough for now. It’s Mother’s Day and I have to take Mrs. Z and Junior out. It’s too nice of a day to be inside on this laptop. I already practiced guitar for two hours and it’s 12:20 PM, Junior’s playing videogames and Mrs. Z is changed and ready to go.

Happy Mother’s Day, folks. If you haven’t already, call your mother if she’s still alive. If she’s not, my condolenses, but give some appreciation for some mother out there who doesn’t get enough appreciation.

I have 3 Chuck Klosterman books here.  Finished one, half-way through the 2nd.  I just went to a book sale and picked up a book by Peter Lynch.  Have barely cracked the book when I read this.  Some of the best words I’ve ever read.

You start to recognize that you’re only going to exist for a little while, whereas you’re going to be dead for a long time.

You remind yourself that nobody on his deathbed ever said: “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”

-both quotes Peter Lynch

I love money as much as the next American, but come on, we work too hard.  Get out and enjoy life, folks.  Don’t work too hard.

I wish someone told me that ten years ago.  I worked my butt off and they still sent my job to India.  Had I known that, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep it.

Get to know your spouse better.  Get to know  your kids or your parents better.  Also, don’t forget you have neighbors.  If you give them a chance, you might find out that they’re interesting people.