Best of The Zombieslayer

The Best of The Zombieslayer

I can't help it

December 22 , 2005

This post is for two lovely ladies, Notta Wallflower for what you said reminded me of something stupid I couldn't stop laughing at, and Liquid Plastic just because.

I can't help laughing when someone falls down or bumps into something. I can't help it. It's funny. Even reading about it is funny. Once, Jenn was writing about hitting her funny bone and how much it hurt. I couldn't stop laughing. She even wrote "and don't laugh!" The best though was when I was doing my undergrad.

I was walking home from school to the apartment when I saw some kid on a skateboard being pulled by his dog. His dog looked like he was having a whale of a time. So was the kid.

The kid held on to a rope and was definitely travelling faster on his skateboard than he could have done by himself. Anyways, on the sidewalk ahead, someone was doing some driveway construction. There was a big mound of dirt right on the sidewalk.

The stupid kid panicked. Instead of letting go of the rope and coming to an easy stop, he started screaming at his dog to stop. The dog naturally ran faster. He probably knew "sit!," "stay!", "food's ready!," and a few other expressions but dogs don't know what stop means.

The kid hit the dirt and went flying. Luckily for him, he wore a thick jacket so he didn't lose any hit points.

He got up and brushed himself off. He was completely fine, up until he saw that I saw. That's when he lost it.

I really tried. I did. But I couldn't help it. I started busting up laughing, laughing so hard that you could probably hear the Zombieslayer the next block down.

As for him, he started wailing. Poor kid. I just hope he's not under a bridge today telling the other bums about that mean long-haired metalhead college student. If he's not a drunk, I still bet today he drives a Hummer. Don't blame me though for screwing up that kid. I can't help it. I laugh when someone falls down, because there's very little in this world that is funnier than that.

Shootin' Political Correctness in the head since May 2005. If you're soft skinned or weak at heart, you might want to try elsewhere.