Tails or Wings?

July 20, 2005

What if you had a tail? Would you like to have a tail? I think it would be a royal pain, myself. For one thing, they don't make a good set of jeans for people with tails. For another, you'd have to have specially made chairs. Chairs nowadays always either have complete backs or backs with spaces the wrong size, sized to easily get your tail stuck. Now that would be embarassing.

The good thing about a tail though is that you could control it. But would you rather have a tail like a dog, that wags when you're happy? Or would you rather have a prehensile tail, one that you could swing from trees with? I think a dog tail would be completely useless, but a prehensile tail, now that would be cool. If a zombie came at you, you could simply use your tail to get up a tree real fast. Of course, the zombie would wait for you, but you could rain stuff down on him and keep him occupied until backup arrived.

Would you date anyone with a tail? I wouldn't. It would freak me out. You know how you used to play footsies with your date? Well, now you wouldn't know if it was a foot or a tail you're playing footsies with. That's no good.

Plus, for a fighting perspective, a tail would hinder more than it would help. I know so many judo and jiu-jitsu moves where you grab the guy's belt and throw him or use it against him in some other way. Same with a tail, except now you have two things to grab.

Now wings on the other hand, that would be cool. I could care less if anyone made fun of my wings. I'd just come up in the air and swoop down on them. The last thing they'd remember would be making fun of the guy with wings. After they regain consciousness, they'd learn the hard way never to do that again.

I'd definitely date someone with wings. If I fell in love with them, I wouldn't have to worry about them as much when the zombies come. They'd just go up in the air.

Plus, it would be so convenient. "Dang, it's hot outside, but I don't want to waste gas. Let's bike over to the park."

"I'll fly there. I'll meet you there."

How cool would that be? Okay friends, tails or wings? Plus, would you date
someone with a tail? With wings?

© 2005 by The Zombieslayer

Shootin' Political Correctness in the head since May 2005. If you're soft skinned or weak at heart, you might want to try elsewhere.

All writings, the Zombieslayer icons, all unique images, and the Zombieslayer Institute of Technology © 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 by The Zombieslayer.