This evening I attempted to watch the presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. Even with mood enhancing substances I was only able to watch about 13 minutes of those buffoons arguing with each other; so I went and took a shower. While bathing an idea came to me; and this is the result of that idea. I know it’s a pipe dream; it will never happen, but one can wish, can’t they?
I wish I’d been in charge of hosting and moderating the debate this evening between Mr Trump and Mr Biden; I’d have changed things up a bit, even though their campaigns had probably already agreed to the terms of the debate. It would probably cost me my job, but it would have been an honest debate instead of the circus that is typical of most presidential debates.
Had I been moderator, this is what I would have said to the candidates after they shook hands and took their positions behind their respective podiums:
Good evening candidates, and thank you for agreeing to meet each other and debate your positions for the American people this evening. I understand that your campaigns were briefed, and agreed to the terms of this debate; but we have decided to change things up a bit; as most past debates have not exhibited much decorum and even less debating. So we at the network have decided to restore order to the chaos that these debates have become by institution the following rules:
1. There are a great many issues of concern for the people in this country, and we have selected some of them for the subject of debate this evening. As such you will confine your answer to the subject currently under discussion; if you wander off into an area outside that discussion your microphone will be switched off.
2. This debate is about each of you presenting your position on the issues we have selected. Therefore, you will not be allowed to criticize your opponent based upon their past record, and if you attempt to do so your microphone will be switched off.
3. Each of you will be given ten minutes of uninterrupted speech concerning each issue; your opponents microphone will remain off during this period, allowing you to lay out your position. However, we ask you to provide Article and Clause in the constitution which justifies your position on that issue.
When we say Article and Clause of the constitution, we mean exactly that. We want you to treat the constitution as if it had just been ratified yesterday; meaning you will not be allowed to support your position by laws that have previously been enacted by Congress, or by any rulings handed down by the Supreme Court. We want you to show the American people were the constitution gives you the authority to do the things you are proposing.
4. Finally, if you’ll turn around you’ll notice that screens have been rolled into position behind each of you; with your names at the top. Each screen is divided with a vertical line and atop each side there are two words; constitutional and unconstitutional. If you are unable to support your position with a specific passage from the constitution a check mark will be entered into the unconstitutional column; if you can provide a passage from the constitution, a check mark will be placed in the constitutional column.
Candidates, I know these changes are not liable to change the minds of many in the voting public; they are already decided as to which of you they intend to vote for. However, it is our hope by making these changes that we can show the people how much you know about, and care about supporting and defending the document you will sworn to support and defend should you win the November election.
Shall we get started?